Desperate to be Understood ~ Poems by an alumnus of Bingham Academy, Ethiopia

When the tears tumble down
And it burns inside
The presence of comfort
Speaks louder than words.

When the strength ebbs so low
That the world hobbles along
The presence of comfort
Speaks louder than words.

When the cries go unheard
And the insults are hurled
The presence of comfort
Speaks louder than words.

There is a certain desperation
That comes with those who think themselves 'strong'...
Their concern is about 'right'
Not so much my heart.
The concern is to not go to the big feelings
Because they do not like miserable,
or hopeless despair
or terror
or anger
or grief
or shame/humiliation
themselves.

If they who are 'strong'
Cannot even go to those feelings
Because they are so difficult to feel,
Does this not have a point
That one who is indeed in the feelings
Might just be feeling really miserable?

But then I am chastized
Because I am feeling miserable.
Yet they can't go to the feeling,
Be glad to be with me
And help discover what is like me.

How come I am chastized
And scolded?

How come they do not hear
The repeated requests to listen
To someone who could help
Them be more understanding?

How come they are offended
That I want my 'mother'?

Just like Bingham.

Cry for home
Need comfort.
Get scolded, spanked
For having feelings.

The dorm supervisors and staff
Insulted and offended
Because I want my parents.
The staff are not the ones
I want or need.

They are offended.

Where is maturity
To say,
"Of course, you want your mommy!
I am not her. You needed her
Yesterday!!!

What is it you so
Like and miss about your mommy?
Let me see if we can't get your
Mommy!

In the meantime,
Let's be together
And see what you need.

Come. Let me rock you."
And the tears are mixed
From theirs with mine--
I can't tell whose are whose...

When the weak and wounded
Are the ones who are needing
To have patience
Because the community
Refuses to say,
"I don't know everything,
I may not be mature as I thot."
That speaks louder than words
About the heart of the community.

The presence of comfort
Speaks louder than words.

The presence of haughtiness/hostility
Speaks louder than words.

One brings life,
While the other kills.

May I please have some life?

Marion Entz Harris, February 7, 2000

Marion grew up in Ethiopia attending Bingham Academy.

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