Book Review ~ Ultimate Sacrifice

by Paul Freisen
Published by iUniverse, 2003

On the back cover of his book, Paul describes himself as a missionary kid (MK), who "went to eight schools in three countries in twelve years." His story opens with the trauma of his mother's death. Following the loss, he finds himself with a new mother, his fathers' second wife. Just six years old, Paul is lost in confusion, grief, and transitions.

Paul's transitions are often challenging, sometimes brutal.  Leaving their home Paul, his two sisters, stepmother and father flew to Africa. Once there, parents and children separated. The destination for Paul and his sisters was Mamou Alliance Academy in Guinee. For his parents, the destination was a mission in Mali, West Africa.

Paul continues with the painful transitions from one boarding school to another. He details his experiences, and the impact on him of abuse and humiliation in those places. He reveals the growing alienation and conflict between him and his parents. Paul describes his own hell as a child caught between the zealous missionary mindset and destructive theology. He uncovers the reality of abusive caretakers, punitive discipline and favoritism in the boarding schools.

In the Epilogue, Freisen sums up the unresolved issues and unanswered questions he faced as a child. He states that the missionary mandate from the early 1920s and onwards required the sacrifice of family, children, health, and future welfare. He presents two challenges: the first to be informed about missionary family life; the second for missionary parents to learn about the needs of MK children.

In the Appendix, Freisen addresses issues that MK's and TCK's (third culture kids) often face. Through a series of responses from adult MK's to the questions he poses, Paul offers sound advice to missionary parents. He concludes with an article
concerning policy requirements on abuse issues for a missionary community.

Ultimate Sacrifice is a difficult book to read. It stirs up memories of painful experiences. Altogether, Ultimate Sacrifice is a book that is packed with vital information of a painful, dysfunctional life. The questions and conclusions that the author draws need to be brought to the attention of the Christian missionary and church world. My conclusion is that if the church does not admit their part, which has damaged lives of hundreds of missionary children, nothing will change.

Review offered by V. Harvey

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